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The Call to Friendship: Diane Vaccaro

Diane Vaccaro is super-excited. The wife of Pastor Jeremy and mother of three, she is also an engaging and motivated speaker. She is excited because she’s been chosen to use her gifts at the October 18-19 Women’s Retreat at Black Lake. Her topic will be Friendship.

“God is doing a lot in my heart right now with friendships,” she says, “I’m eager to share what I’m learning.”

Under the leadership of Shari Monson and Patti Weaver, Diane and others in Chapel Hill Women’s Ministry have been involved in a series of roundtable discussions in recent months. One of the recurring ideas to emerge from these discussions has been women’s search for authentic friendship. It has gradually come to seem like a natural theme for the retreat.

“Women are looking for opportunities to grow in relationship to each other,” Diane says. She believes we come together either because we’re looking to grow in the Lord or because we’re seeking friends. The good thing about this is that as we grow in the Lord we become better friends. And as we become better friends we challenge one another to grow in faith.

“I’ll be calling people to reflect: Who are you as a friend? What kind of friend are you and what are you called to do in your friendships? The scripture verse I’m using is John 15:13: Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.”

Diane plans to look at biblical stories of friendship. She wants to examine what people in these stories had to lay down for their friends. Then she’ll invite participants to consider what they might lay down in order to become a great friend. How does God call us to be great friends? And how do we do it—especially when it’s hard?

Sometimes, says Diane, we do a lot of picking and choosing of friends. But then God will say, “No, this is the person that I want you to be friends with.”

“One of my best friends,” she says with a chuckle, “I mean, the first time I met her I thought, You have got to be kidding! But now she is one of my closest, dearest friends. You just never know who God has for you.”

The point she wants to make is that friendship should be intentional. It requires communication, concern, forgiveness, vulnerability, and courage. “The greatest friendships are usually with people of whom you can look back and say, ‘We went through this valley together. When I was having this struggle, that friend really came alongside me.’ It bonds you together.”

“I find myself wanting to work on this,” she says of her preparation for the retreat. “I know God has something to say and that gets me excited. What a great feeling to be chosen by God for a specific purpose!”